The Sound of-

There are certain sounds that excite certain types of people.

For instance. 

Someone who lives on the West Coast my have their heart beat faster when they hear the sound of crashing waves.

Someone from the Midwest might love the sound of the crickets chirping in the corn fields on the dusk of a summers eve.

Someone from the South might love the sound of gasoline being thrown onto a bonfire thats cooking their can of beans.

Well a Yankee from the North loves the sound of a tree being felled.

Here is a video from today, of one of our giant oak trees being taken down.

This beauty had served better days but was resting her broken limbs a little too close to our house. The wood will be able to be used after being cut and split so nothing goes to waste. There are certain sounds that remind you of certain parts of your life you love. A tree being taken down just warms my cold New England heart.

Watch "2012-11-28_16-01-17_127.mp4" on YouTube

*Snif *Snif! They growd up so fayst!

This weekend the "chicks," will be just shy of four months old- already!  And they have been living for about a month now in their own coop and yard next to the rest of the flock. But as of Saturday, the barrier between them will be taken down and they will hopefully learn to live in harmony. East and West Germany sort of thing......maybe I'll play some Pink Floyd to celebrate as we ....knock down the wall....

Here's some pics of them today.

Hildago

Hildago giving me his pissant look. Mr. Elam Ferguson in the back, Miss Lilly is the yellow hen, and of course Madea had to peek in the picture.

Mr. Bohanan standing next to Miss Ruth.

Hildago inspecting the camera....still not sure whether to attack or not. Mr. Elam Ferguson in the background looking proper. Miss Lilly and Madea showing their tail feathers.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless 4G LTE DROID

Like those big comfy sweatpants.

This past weekend was something else.


"Where God closes a door, He opens another."


And I found out He is there waiting, and holding up those big, comfy sweatpants, that you love so much.  The kind you slip into- don't worry if you look cute in them, eat ice cream, crash on the couch,  watch your favorite TV show, and drift off into blissful slumber- kind of sweatpants.


This weekend God handed me just those very ones.


The whole Farr family got together for Thanksgiving week.  The whole family. ALL 31 members of this amazing family together under one roof. And that roof happened to be ours.  We have been looking forward to this past week for months now.  It hasn't happened ever quite like this. All the children, and their children, eating, celebrating, dancing, and sharing laughter.  It was quite possibly the best Thanksgiving.

I won't go into too many details on the entire get together, but I do want to share the one thing that really stuck out to me. Its the whole "God closing  door and opening another," sort of thing.  what I actually mean by "He was waiting to hand me those comfy sweatpants."

You see I have been pretty candid on what I have been learning, and processing as a new Mom, and not without backlash.  But I haven't been so candid or open as to what I am learning as a Christian, and that has been somewhat purposeful. Long story short- this past summer, fall, and now this emerging winter, have been a pivotal point in my life and walk as a Christian.  I feel as though I am relearning the importance of "whats really important," in life.


You'd rather have 4 quarters, than 100 pennies.

I used to think that a 100 pennies was what was important.  The whole quantity over quality thing.... How many people would like me? Boy- that was important.

But I learned that even though you think people may "like," you, they don't ever really love you. And love is way more important than being liked by someone.

But now that God has gifted us with this little spitfire of a gal, its her popularity contest that I want to win. Its her love I want to obtain. I have mentioned this previously..

Ok so get on with it Lauren ....about the sweatpants analogy...

Family- that's quality.  That's where its at.  It isn't about popularity. It isn't about whether you are worried about being liked. It isn't about mistrust, backtalk, gossip, or pettiness. Its about the love you all share together.
Its like a picture you all "like," together on facebook.

I really realized that this past week.  I am astounded by just how MUCH love there is in this family.

My sister in laws. Wow
They are the kinda of girls that you have to do a double take on.
They are gorgeous.
And not just gorgeous but genuinely lovely.
They all love openly, and fully. They make you feel good when they see you.  They are interested in how you have been. They talk to you sweetly, and they listen intently.  They make you feel you are home on the days you are homesick.

And my brother in laws.
Full of laughs, and true gentlemen.

What I saw this weekend was the actual pride (and that's not in a bad way) they had to have a new niece.  There was no popularity contest. There was no fake smiles, or half assed hugs. It was all real. Rev was a new member of the family and she was welcomed, loved, and embraced fully. She's the new Farr:)


What a lucky girl she is.

So in these days, where my focus has not been on winning the popularity contest amoungst peers but instead on developing a relationship with my daughter and enjoying her EVERY second. I'm seeing  just how much my family is and always will be my true friends.  That's all we need.

This weekend was a glimpse into my past.

The Caplette family get together with a million cousins running around, yelling, screaming, eating candy, and being kids.  All our aunts and uncles together being their fun selves.  I was catching a glimpse into what MY childhood was like, and seeing the future of what Rev's childhood will be like.

Watching all my nieces and nephews while catching up with sister and brother in laws, made me feel as though God had handed those big comfy sweatpants to me.


Here you go- put them on.
Relax.
Be comfortable.
Feel cozy.
Be yourself.
Don't worry about looking perfect
Cause you are loved.
Just the way you are.
That's why you have this family.


This Thanksgiving I am so thankful for the memories made. I am thankful to God giving me the eyes to see that true love, and caring comes not from so and so who you know thru so and so- but it comes from the people who He knitted together to walk thru this life with.

I look forward to more memories like this. For Rev to grow up knowing Uncle Marc Bob and Auntie Bumba, Auntie M, Auntie Nicole, Auntie Michelle, Uncle Rob, Uncle Matt, and Uncle Dave, Auntie Des Des, and Uncle Martin and Auntie Meg and Uncle Jomph- Knowing Uncle Beer;) and Aunt NeNe, Aunt WoWo, Uncle Jase and Auntie Allegra, Aunt Lisa and Uncle Eric, Uncle Charlie and Auntie Cara, and all the cousins!

 I love all of you- and thank you for loving us<3

Oh How I've Woken Thee, Let me List Thy Ways..

So on more than one occasion I have woken up David from a deep slumber in some pretty dramatic ways. Last night was the probably the most interesting.....

I went to bed wearing a giant hoodie and a pair of Davids sweats.  Baggie clothes = ultimate comfort in so many ways..... So as I slept on my side feet curled up, my baggie hoodie hung open in the back.

I woke up (rather quickly) to something "giant scratching up my back.  I did what probably looked like a pretty impressive olympic move without waking David or the baby and ended up in a sittin postition when I felt the scratching crawling up my leg.

Two thoughts popped into my head.

1. This is a giant bug.
2. Nope. Its a mouse.

(this all took place in less than ten seconds)

I had (in the time it took to do my olympic move and have the nerve endings on my leg transport the message to my brain at 2a.m., yes 2,) grabbed the clump of mouse traveling up my pants.


Crunch.

I woke up David.

"David!?  Theres a mouse in my panst!?!?"
"David what do I do I have a mouse in my pants?!"

It took David more than ten seconds to wake up.

By then I realized that the crunch I felt was a mere back adjustment that I had given the mouse, and not the blood and guts kind of crunch.

It was still alive.


So as we snuck out of bed, ( I took off my pants as David held onto the mouse still in them) and we ran downstairs and chucked the thing off our porch (I had another pair of pants on by this time)

As the little mouse flew threw the air it sommersaulted, landed with a thump, and promptly- took off.


So this adds to the list of ways I have woken up David.

1. David! Theres water pouring into the house. (This was a month into living at our house at 6a.m. waking up to a giant thunderstorm and failed gutters dumping alllllllll the water into our bedroom and down the hall.)

2.  David! The bees have swarmed! 8a.m. ( first time it happened and my heart broke.  Now it seems they do this every other Sunday.)

3. David! Were having a cub!  (Sept 20th at 8 a.m.....sigh:) )

4.  David the hens have gotten attacked (thrice.)

5. David....theres a mouse in my pants.



Something I never thought I would be able to say.

Lil Mamma

It was during the last two months or so of pregnancy that our dog Independence wouldn't leave my side.  

I read that animals can sense a change of sorts about to take place, and so I welcomed Indies constant company, and her working six sense.

But it wasn't until our daughter was born did Independence's dependency on her new found friend become so apparent.

At first we kept a close eye, and guarded Reveille in every way we could.  We let Indie know that this "was ours."  But as the weeks have turned to months the friendship between the two is undeniable, and really something to watch.

Each morning Reveille wakes up and I bring her down stairs, the first thing she looks for is her Indie.  who just so happens to be sitting at the bottom of the stairs waiting. A big smile comes across her face, and she just lights up. Indie dances.

When Reveille goes down for a nap, Indie waits outside her door. When she takes a bath, Indie comes into the bathroom. When she's playing on the floor Indie lays as close to Rev's blanket as she possibly can without being on it.

Indie makes Reveille laugh.  Really laugh.

The first night we had Reveille home Indie slept on the hard, cold floor, beneath her bassinet.

And this picture is Indie waiting (behind the baby gate) on the stairs while her friend rest comfortably for the first time today because of a bad cold.

It seems our little Independence's dependency on mothering her friend is something from the heart.




......and they say dogs have no soul?

Climb the fence. Books and pens.

Fall is here.

A new season, and another page turned.

As Hurricane Sandy swept in with heavy rains and strong winds I feel it has taken with her the last bit of summer remaining.

and I am thankful.

With the birth of our daughter in the middle of Spring came the new beginning we had eagerly anticipated. But as the summer came on hot, heavy, stagnant, so did life.

It was hard.

Our daughter did not have it easy.
Two hour stints of sleeping. For months.
She was starving for the first three weeks of life, steadily losing weight. But the pressure of nursing your baby was so immense on so many levels and from so many people, that the guilt set in beyond words can describe.
I was in regular , burning pain, worse than labor, for three months.
I lived on the couch with my daughter on my chest for two months straight.
I did not move until David got home.
David worked longs days.
I was away from the people who believe in me most- my family.
As a new mother I heard nothing but advice on how to "fix my days."
I couldn't have a good cry without someone screaming the words hormonal.
I couldn't say that it was a rough day with out being diagnosed.
Farm life was hell.
My chicks were killed. Slowly and steadily. (this may seem like nothing to most but these were hatched from my favorite hen. They were born soon after Rev was. They were the little light on the dark days to watch with my daughter.)
Hens were killed by a hawk.
More chicks died.
Hens got sick.
Thought we had to cull the flock.
Bee's swarmed.
Hives failed.
The life on the farm that seemed so promising seemed to be diminished in a passing night.
Opposition from came from all places that I never thought it would come from, and that was the hardest.
I missed my family.
I was pressured in "how to be."
Pressured into "holding it together."
Pressured into "getting out."
Pressured into "being normal."
Pressured into what felt like everything.

It was really hard. And I do not expect anyone to understand.

But something is changing.
Slowly like the season creeping in
And now fiercely like the hurricane that made in way thru.

I woke up feeling refreshed today. Somewhat new, again. A realization has occurred. That in the popularity contest that is life I don't really care who I win with, as long as I always get most popular with my daughter.  The "things," that seemed so important even a year ago are now so trivial.  I wasted much time crying and being sad in the first months of my daughters life from these things that are now so trivial. I wish I could take that all back. I wish that it wasn't classified as being a hormonal girl. I wish people could see that it was a hard summer, on top of bringing a life into this world.  There was ALOT of stress. I didn't have a chance to relax into Mother hood. I wasn't allowed to relax. No one seemed to understand that I was a new Mom, and I had no idea what I was doing.  Let me be new. Let me figure out this whole new life. Let me be.

Now this isn't to take away from anyone suffering. I realize that what was hard for me would be a breeze to others, and I want to acknowledge that.  My bravery and courage would be minute in comparison to some I know suffering harder....this entry is to just be what I said I would be- honest and open. Personal to me. Available for you to read. That is all.

So like the Hurricane that ripped the summer leaves from the branches of strong standing trees last night, so has the heavy summer weight been ripped from my shoulders.

As the trees realize the need to dig their roots down, reach for the sun, and bloom in glory each new year, so have I realized to do the same.

I do not want to be one of those weak trees struggling amoungst the others in the forest reaching for a bit of sun. I do not want to be poorly set in soil.  I do not want to fall with the slightest bit of breeze.

I want to be the strong oak we have in our yard- our farm logo- that stands tall and firm in its place.  In movable by any opposition. Confident in its stance.

Quality not quantity.

Don't let me be a tree that drowns in the forest of other trees all trying to be the greatest.

Let me stand alone.

Let me be these things for our daughter to see.
Let her know that she is a gift given by God to us.
Let her know that she can stand tall and proud.
Let her know she does not need to be in a forest of others in order to fit in.
Let her be her.

As a Mom now, and really for the first time, realizing whats important its definitely the motto quality not quantity that sums it up.

The quality I see is in my family. My Mom, my StepMom, my Mother in law, and all their amazing advice, and love, compassion, and understanding. Their inability to judge.
The quality I see is in my husband for his hard work, his care and tenderness, his words full of love, his strongness.
The quality I see is the gift given to us by God. This little bundle of beauty, who is intelligent, healthy, vigorous and vocal. Who eyes and smile look so much like the person I fell head over heels for. That smile passed on has made me fall head over heels again.

The quality I feel is from God.
His unshakable love for even your darkest of hours. His bright light he keeps shining for you to seek when it is dark. He is the warmth of the fire on a cold day. "There to ignite your bones, and carry you home."

This entry I again say, is simply to state the feelings I have. They are mine to have, and share. That is all. I now know that its ok to have these feelings. Its ok to express them. Its ok not to hide behind them. And its ok to share them to others who might get something good out of them.

I welcome fall with open arms.

 I welcome the cold wind, and its cleansing of the stillness of summer.

 I welcome the warmth that is in our home<3