I ain't here for your money. I'm here for the banks money.

Its always the good guys that get shot during a robbery right? 

The ones that try to save the day?

Well that's what happened to me today.

I got shot during a hold up.

I have three hives at the moment. One strong. One mildly weak, and the other was wicked strong.

You see last Monday I went into the wicked strong hive and was over come with bee's.  No they didn't swarm up all me or anything, but when I opened the hive there they were - massive amount- clumps of them.

Its what you expect in late August.  Hot weather and hot and "slightly moody bee's."

They could be in a good mood and just hanging around bored and lazy, or they could be ticked cause they are bored and hot.

Bored cause they ain't no mo necta flo.

True dat.

So anyways, yesterday I went into the wicked strong hive to give em some feed. Some nice freshly made sugar syrup.

I opened it up and saw tumble weeds roll by.

Where the crap did they go?

I broke down the entire hive only to find piles and piles of bees- healthy bee's and brood laying dead in a big crumpled bee mess.

If this were last year (my first bee charming year) I would have cried right then and there and sought revenge on what force of nature did this to my friends.

Meteors? 

I'll kick your ass for doing this?! 

Sasquatch??!! 

I know where you live!

I have since come to realize that here at Glory Downs Farm- all and everything weird that CAN happen to bee's. Will.

My bee's are apparently Irish and go by Murphy's law.

So as I broke everything apart I ended up seeing the queen. Stately, beautiful, and looking to lay eggs.

Hmm.

Weak hive check- 

no queen.

Hmm.

I take the weak hive, add it to the used to be wicked strong hive and I get halfway decent hive.(Maybe?)

WH+UTBWSH=HWDH.

How do I do that?

Well I won't bore you with too many details, but you basically leave the queen at the bottom hive box and put newspaper on top of it. Then take the other weak hive, place it on top of that and the bees will chew there way thru the newspaper in order to get close to the queen. All during which- they will get used to one another. No fighting, guys ok. We all get along. Bunk beds mean more space for activities.

So today I'm outside looking at this enormously stacked hive and I start to see some odd bee-havior.

They're all over my house.

On my porch.

On old hive equipment.

Me.

These little bastards better not be planning on swarming cause they owe me rent now.

I give it some time.

I look again.

Yup. They are getting robbed.

So during a robbery, the best thing to do is place an entrance reducer on the hive to help the bees IN the hive fight off any bees trying to get in.  I had already done this like a good doobie anticipating that THIS might happen.

The next best thing is to take a tarp of some sort and throw it over the hive!

I have one- better yet I have a clothe tarp.

So I walk with my glock fully loaded (actually its a clothe tarp) and as I approach (in civilian clothing)  annnnnd I get chased by bee's.

Little monkeys.

And yes, as a beecharmer (who ain't so good at charming) I run.

Just cause I like playing with hundreds of thousands of bees (weird) I don't like having them come at me pissed (normal)

So I wait a bit and then approach. Clothe in hand I throw it like a girl over the hive!  

It falls.(Naturally)

I bend and look to see if it at least covered the entrance-

It did!

Pow.

I got hit. 

I slap my hand and run (like a girl) all the way to the house where I can lick my wounds, swatting and pulling at my clothes in the off chance that one "got in," somewhere.

The best thing to do if you get stung is, well a couple things. 

One- toothpaste. Don't ask me how, but the mint in it soothes the sting once the sting is out.

Two- onion. Yup onion. And if you look up uses for onions you'll be surprised they are great for a many of other things than making you smell bad at the gym.

Three- mud. That's my favorite. It'll pull the stinger out and soothe you. Plus its a good excuse to put mud on you.

So what is a bee charmers response to getting stung by the lovelies?

Ouch.

Yes, you never get used to it.

Yes it still hurts.

You ever stub your toe?

That never gets any better feeling the next time you do it right?

Right.

So we will see if my vigilanteness works. If not - eh. There are more hives to be had next year!