Check out my waddles..

Yah thats right.

A special moment between two buddies.

Harlem:
"Indie I'm really enjoying our nap together, especially after such a great day."

Indie:
"I'm pretty sure there is a parade going on downstairs. I think there might even be some peanuts...."

A quiet moment between friends...

Harlem:

"Hey Indie, I think I see a place over the field where we can dig a nice hole!"

Indie:

"I think I just heard a rhino! I like squinting! Stuff is fun!"

Put That in Your Pipe and Smoke It.

As humans we all like to feel a part of "something." Whether you find your identity in music, clothes, your job, or the fact that you can make pouty lips look like a serious medical condition on facebook-. We have all felt the need to be a part of some sort of "group."

I myself struggled with this for years. I found my identity in my (once upon a time glamorous) job, until I was no longer able to physically do it anymore. When that was taken away from me I had some tough days knowing who I really was and what I was good for. I would tell people that I retired, to avoid the fact of the truth. A physical injury had left me unable to do my profession, my interesting job, my love of life, that I thought was the most important thing- ever.  Thats where God came in. 

Now you see God has always been there, but there are many times that my ears were not open to Him. If any of you are familiar with God, He will gently tap you on the shoulder with a great suggestion for you. If you don't listen, then He will whack you upside the head with a hammer. And that usually hurts.  

Well long story short, it took God whacking me upside the head with a hammer to find out what my identity was- His daughter, made uniquely, and in His eyes.  Its really a wonderful feeling, knowing that your job, clothes, or music doesn't define you. Freeing in fact. But God Himself who made you unique is what is your definition.

So what does this mean exactly? Well, here's where beekeeping comes in.

I always had a liking for bee's. If I saw the word "bee's," on facebook, on that sidebar where adds usually are- I would hit the "like" button. I often get asked- "What got you into bee's and beekeeping?" And the only answer I really have was the memory of my brother doing a school project on a bee's nest and its inner structure. My brother did well on the project and he thought it was really cool and neat. Anything my brother liked I did as well- I looked up to everything he did (and still do) so a passion formed. We would go around my Grandmothers small farm in the summer time looking for bee's nest to throw rocks at.  This was fun as kids- so it shaped its way into learning about bee's and falling in love with them.

For a long time growing up I to wanted to "keep," bee's. Upon getting this house and having the acreage (and supporting husband) to do so I did. Filling this passion of mine helped me to feel as though I was doing something God had made me for. Some might read that sentence as weird, but I don't really care. Maybe your calling is being a doctor- which is a great and amazing thing. My calling is bee's and caring for soft and fuzzy things. I'm just figuring this out so bare with me.....

Well I can remmeber the first time I mentioned what I "really wanted to do," to a group of girlfriends. Figuring that they would be OH so excited for me and supportive taht I "found my calling,"- I blurted out- "I'm going to keep bee's!"

The response I got was less than exciting. In fact most girls thought I was talking about the "stinging kind of bee," and the "kind of bee that is always flying around trash cans." "How do you keep them?" "Why would you want to?" "Aren't you afraid?!" "i would never want to do THAT."   I was disheartened. I remember walking away from that night in tears. Here I was happy as can beee about finally finding my calling....ahem...and my girlfriends thought that I was just a weirdo.  I was back to square one figuring out "whoooo I ammmm."

"Who are you?" said the caterpillar.
"Well I don't know said Alice, I've changed so many times since this morning!"

Or was I?

I went home and talked to my husband about it. He reminded me that we are all created uniquely, and that although my girlfriends would never want to play with bee's on a Saturday afternoon, doesn't mean that I shouldn't. In fact, that should give me all the more reason to play with bee's for a hobby- because its was something God had put into my heart alone.

I went on to do it- obviously. And obviously you have read about what it has done for me in my life. I am able to see God through the little golden gals, and feel close to Him when working with the bee's.  I love bee charming, and know that it will remain a passion of mine for as long as I'm able to walk out to the bee yard. And as long as I am able to walk out into the bee yard, and feel His presence while I work the bee's, I will remain close to Him and His creation.  But even though I have found my "niche," in life I still struggle with the "who am I's," that seem to knock on the door every once in a while. I am only a mere human (although I often want to dispute this fact).

Do I still struggle with wanting to belong to a certain group? Sure. Think about conversations you have with new people you meet- "Hi I'm so and so and I'm a engineer!" "What's your name?" "What do you do?" That inner part of me still wants to say "Hi I'm Lauren and I'm exciting- here is my list of reason why." But nowadays I tend to hold back a bit more, and reply- "I bag groceries."

A friend I work with came in the other day excited to tell me that she read something I might find interesting.  Knowing that I was a lit major in college she went on to tell me how she learned that Sherlock Holmes when upon retiring, went into "tending bee's."  She thought I would like that.

I loved that.

Sherlock Holmes had pissed me off in college.
 I got into an argument with one professor about one of Holmes' stories. When the professor asked me what I thought about the Hounds of Baskerville, I confidently replied that "it was a dissipointment and a rather boring end."  That professor quickly put me in my place by saying "If you were expecting aliens and robots to be the culprit then you are a product of todays times and culture."  (For anyone who hasn't read Hounds of Baskerville I suggest you do- merely for the fact of understanding what exactly I am talking about.....I'm working on my selfishness ok?) After realizing that she was indeed right, and that I was a product of expectations and explosions for entertainment. I saw that I was a bratty, self centered, typical, college student, and I let Holmes forever put a marker on my heart, for valuable lessons learned.  Don't judge a book by its cover.  Over complicating stories leads to let downs. Keep it simple stupid.

So when my coworker friend told me about Holmes and his passion for tending bee's I had to smile.

Was this God letting me know that the one literary character who forever reminds me of the lesson learned in college, and is also a beekeeper for another lesson?

"Elementary my dear Watson. Elementary."

After reading Holmes take on bee tending I realized what it was. This literary character also spent "pensive nights and laborious days," over his beloved bee's.

The struggle I have with "fitting in, and "here I was "fitting in," and comparing notes with the character who rocked my little college brain, and forever shifted my literary learning.


We both "retired," into bee tending.

Thank you God for your ever creativity.

Sherlock Holmes was a beekeeper. According to Arthur Conan Doyle, he retired to Sussex in the early years of the Twentieth Century and divided his time “between philosophy and agriculture.” Later, details were provided when his hitherto unknown work on beekeeping played a role in breaking a spy ring on the very eve of the Great War:

“But you had retired, Holmes [says Dr Watson]. We heard of you as living the life of a hermit among your bees and your books in a small farm upon the South Downs.”
“Exactly, Watson. Here is the fruit of my leisured ease, the magnum opus of my latter years.” He picked up the volume from the table and read out the whole title, “‘Practical Handbook of Bee Culture, with some Observations upon the Segregation of the Queen.’ Alone I did it. Behold the fruit of pensive nights and laborious days, when I watched the little working gangs as once I watched the criminal world of London.”

http://www.laurierking.com/etcetera/lrk-on-holmes/sherlock-holmes-on-beekeeping

Miss Independence Task List Number Two.

Another one of Indie's daily activities is to get her paws good and muddy, wait until you take a shower, then walk into the still wet floor of the shower.

What she does in here I don't really know....

I've seen her lick the shower floor. I've also seen her sniff the good smelling shampoos.....

but after those two things are done the shower is hers to do with it who knows-

The season of love.

Its been since last week that we physically saw Ash.

He came by when David was outside (naturally) and the dogs where on the porch. He watch the dogs cautiously, but was unalarmed by them and enjoyed his meal.  He came each night till last Thursday where he enjoyed a nice roast beef sandwich.

After that night I had a dream where the phone rang and when I answered its was a voice I didn't recognize saying "Ash is up to no good."
I sat straight up in bed, and thought to myself- "that was so weird."

(hang tight I promise this blog post is going somewhere.)

Well- Ash did not come Friday......no show...Saturday....and the worst night was Sunday..when he didn't grace us with his wonderful tail.

He has done this before and normally I wouldn't worry too much about it. The nights have been mild and the mice are out running around in the woods (yes if you sit outside at night and actually listen- you will here them) So when food is plentiful, its normal for this otherwise, punctual fox, to not show for evening dinner.

So why was I worried?

On my way to order bee's this past Sunday (which is right down the street from us) I saw it- something I morbidly look for and pray not to see- a fox that has been hit.

My heart sank. And when I walked into the place to order bee's I wasn't my usual excited self. All I could think of was the fox I just drove past and how I would have to stop to get a good look at the poor thing to see if it was our best buddy, wild friend.......

I left the bee farm and drove all of 100 feet to where the fox was laying. I held up traffic as I slowed down to get a good look at the tail ( something I can clearly identify on Ash) I saw that this fox's tail was not so bushy and there was no white tip.....I passed by the fox two more times, to make sure what I was seeing was correct.

Ash has a white tipped tail. So white tipped that  you can't miss it. When his tail fully grew back in, the white tip of his tail got bigger and bigger. I sighed a bit of relief but really was still pained to see a fallen fox. I have come to not only admire the species, but love them dearly........

With all that in mind my dream came back to me- and I prayed each night that Ash would give us a visit so I know that it really wasn't him that was down the street from us fallen.

Well last night I had another dream.

I dreamt I was back home in Massachusetts looking for our friend Ash.  Some people that I haven't seen in a while drove up and saw me walking my old street. When I said that I would catch up with them later, because I was busy looking for "my," fox- they jumped out of there car and joined me.  I walked towards a farm where I saw him- He had his sly "I'm just waking up and its still sunny," look on his face and he came running over. I fed him chicken nuggets (?) And as soon as he ate from my hand I woke up.

I looked to see it was five am and ran down stairs to check his dish.

Normally his dish is at the bottom of our steps, and whatever he doesn't eat the crows in the morning come and finish. Last night I did something different. I opened our gate to our porch and put the dish on the steps,  knowing that he was the only animal that knew his dish would be there- and knowing that the crows where not brave enough to come up onto our porch...

Well I ran downstairs at five am, (before it was sunny enough for the crows, and right after my dream) and saw that there was no dish!  I ran outside and saw that Ash had knocked his dish off the steps getting one of his hotdogs.


I felt so good waking up this morning and seeing that.

Its fox mating season right now. And its time in which foxes that usually stick around in a familiar area, venture a little further to find their mate.  Its typical for a fox to find a mate and stay with him or her for a year or two. I'm praying that Ash will fair out safely in this season that can be a bit more dangerous for him....or her...


It wasn't until this past week that I really realized how much I love this little fox. I knwo I have said how much I love having him part of our life, but this past week had me reflecting. He came to join us last July Fourth, and almost every night since. He almost didn't make it when he got ill, and the medicine we were advised to give him worked out very well. Its been a gift to see his journey in becoming a fantastic fox, and we have loved every bit of it.  I know that Ash was not an animal promised to stay with us (something always in that back of my mind) but I now realize just what a gift from God he really is.

To sum it up perfectly, Ash has been my little Muse.  In the time that he wasn't here I didn't have a passion to write. My mind was to focused on the thought of not having his precious self here in our life anymore..a thought no mater what- will never sit well with me. Ash has brought so much joy to all of us in the past year.  He has quite a following. There is not many places that I can go and see friends that don't ask about him. Not a week goes by that at least a couple people ask me, "What is Ash up too?" I pray that if Ash is a female that she will have her kits over for visit as well. Selfish I know- but I am enamored. If I could better explain what a little red fox has done for our farm, I would....but words right now don't seem to suit the situation. If you could see my smile when I think about Ash, then you would know what I'm trying to say.

Miss Independence.

Our dog Indie suits her name wonderfully.

She has her own agenda, is unappologetic, and has one mood- happy.

So, this picture here is just an example of one of the tasks that is on Indie's daily agenda. 

While sitting on our bed, Indie will walk into the room and sit and stare into the mirror. She will not be looking at herself while staring into the mirror but instead, you. As you sit comfortably she will watch you until you notice her watching you. It is not until you notice her watching you that she will then stop- come over and lick you or whatever else she deems fit for the occasion of notification.

This morning was a little different. I sat watching her watching me. For quite a bit of time.  To play out her unique situation I waited to see what she would do...

She got bored and went to bed.

I don't blame her.